Whenever I come out to a friend as bisexual I can tell that none of them believe me. One of them even asked if I’d ever been sexually abused and if that was why.
i’m scared to come out to my family because I don’t think they’ll believe me either
the bisexual didn’t “switch” when they broke up from a “homosexual relationship” they just broke up with you.
Here’s my confession: sometimes I feel so wrong identifying as bisexual. And I know it’s not because I feel internalized guilt about same sex relationships. It’s more that I feel like I was ~supposed~ to be born with one solid natural undeniable preference, be it gay or straight, but instead I’m just this stupid indecisive oversexed mess.
And I can cite a thousand reasons why that last sentence is wrong and ignorant as fuck! I’ve believed for a while now that gender doesn’t matter, that sexuality is fluid a la Kinsey, etc. I know my thoughts are horrible and biphobic. But nevertheless there’s this voice in my head, and I can’t seem to shut her up.
I’ve had so many repressed sexual desires for various women over the years. I’m sleeping with a girl I adore right now, and it’s wonderful beyond belief. But at the same time, I can’t help but constantly compare my experiences with women to my past experiences with men. I spent all my childhood lusting after men, fantasizing about them. And when the boy I loved finally went down on me, it was everything I had dreamed of. The first time I licked a pussy, I realized that I truly loved it, just as much as I truly loved my first time sucking a cock. Both experiences made me feel alive.
And I can’t seem to justify to myself why or how that’s possible. Am I just some crazy aberration? The unicorn of the gays? That can’t be possible, because I know that bisexual people outnumber every other group in the LGBTQ community almost two to one. But still I can’t stop feeling like I’m wrong somehow. A genetic mistake. There are so few resources to understand my identity, so few places I can turn for comfort.
I know that I’m not gay, and I’m not straight. But I also feel such shame for saying that I love everything. And although I’m not sure about much right now, I’m fairly sure that our biphobic society is to blame. I want to make it stop. I hope someday I’ll find the strength to help other people like me. And I especially hope I’ll find a way to overcome this ridiculous inner voice.
What bothers me is that, because I’m a bisexual woman, a lot of men assume that I’m up for threesomes, often with their unsuspecting girlfriends. Then there’s my pseudo-liberal mother who insists that I’ll settle for a man in the end “because it’s easier”. Worst of all? When gay men and lesbians accuse me of being greedy. They suffer the same prejudice as we do, so why hate? All are common gripes, I know. But over the years I’ve found a way of dealing with it - reminding everyone who starts shit that I’ll have more options than they EVER will.
I actually liked guys first when I grew up, but then I started liking girls sexually and not guys sexually. For a long time I thought I liked guys only romantically. But it that changed when I got my first boyfriend, and now I’m even more confused than before.
[TW: Violence against women] I figured out I was bi as a teenager, but at the time didn’t feel ready to be out. I met my ex my sophomore year of college and we got married a year after graduation, so I never really came out. He knew I also liked girls, but since I never planned to be with anyone else ever again, I started just thinking of myself as straight. A year in he became abusive, cheated, turned into a horrifying person, and I left. But ever since (over a year), I’ve only been able to feel attracted to girls. I’m afraid to tell anyone in my life, though, because I’m afraid they’ll think that’s the real reason why I left and that I made up the abuse, or that he “broke” me from men. But I’m starting to feel like maybe he did, and it makes me feel ignorant to even think that that’s possible.
The other day, there was a conversation going on that took a biphobic turn. The biphobia wasn’t directed at me, but I am sure I was erased into being gay. I froze and listened but didn’t speak up. I wish that my friend had for me cause sometimes you need an ally.
I am a bisexual female who is currently in a relationship with another woman that lives overseas. We’ve been “official” for six months, but we have been friends for much longer. (8 years strong!) I came out to my mother about a month after my girlfriend accepted my dating proposal because I was afraid of how she would take it.
At first my concerns were because my girlfriend is overseas, because my mother doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships. However, as it turns out, she’s what I call “unwittingly” biphobic—one of the first things out of her mouth when I came out to her was that she was sad she would now “never be a Grandma.” She specifically was hoping I would birth my own children because “having children, and then your children having children, is the natural progression of life.” Not only have I expressed the fact that I do not—nor will I ever—want children, but if for some reason I change my mind, to her the “grandma-ness” isn’t valid unless the children I raise came from my DNA.
She has also, on multiple occasions, referred to my girlfriend as “just a friend” to my face after I came out. And has at least twice pressured me to come out to my (largely very conservative and/or religious) family members, because I’m somehow obligated to tell them about this thing they may very well shun me for.
My mother cannot seem to grasp, among a lot of other things, the concept that biphobia is very real and that people are discriminated against every day for not fitting into the “box” of the sexual attraction binary. I am now facing the very real risk of being forced out of the home by her ultimatums, and I can honestly say that if she kicks me out for disagreeing with her opinions, I won’t miss a damn thing.
Legendsneverdie21.tumblr.com or IG: Hellagood21 Arleen, 21, SoCal. I’m bi and proud. Mostly into females though. I’m a college student psych major, and a Disneyland cast member. I love meeting people and making everyone feel good and smile. Future police officer. Feel free to message me or follow me. :)