As a 19-year-old who’s never been married I’m not sure how much help I can be with this particular topic, but I’ll try my best…
Coming out is a very personal decision, and if you feel that it would cause problems in your marriage or your relationship with your parents, then you have every right to not come out to them. However, if you think your husband and/or parents would probably be accepting, it wouldn’t be pointless to come out, contrary to what you might think at first: Why should I come out if I’m already in a committed heterosexual relationship? The most obvious answer is that it may allow you to feel more genuine in your relationships, and for many people coming out allows them to feel a sense of pride.
Basically it comes down to what you want to do. If you’re feeling like you have to suppress yourself by staying in the closet, then I would encourage you to come out if you feel ready.
This very issue is discussed in an article for Bi the Bi, and you are most definitely not alone in this. Plenty of people get married before they even know they’re bi, and then they struggle with whether or not their bi identity is even relevant anymore. That’s a question that should be answered by the individual.
From the pitfalls of coming out to prejudice and professional isolation, Matthew Jenkin explores the challenges bisexuals face at work
I think this is definitely a conversation worth having within the community, and although allies are important to us, I don’t think they should be allowed to dominate the conversation. There has been a lot of backlash since some LGBTQ people spoke out questioning Day of Silence, mainly allies getting defensive and saying they’re just trying to help. I DO NOT SUPPORT ALLY HATING in any way, shape, or form, however I believe that it is the job of a true ally to respond to the input of LGBTQ+ people with “how can I help?”, not “I was just trying to help!”
That being said, a lot of people think this event isn’t helpful, and it’s not that we don’t like the cause, it’s just that maybe there are better ways to draw positive attention to the community. So everyone is obviously free to participate if they wish, but I am going to spend that day speaking up.
If anyone else has an opinion, feel free to send us a submission or an ask, but please be civil (I know people get very upset about this issue sometimes) and respectful to those who disagree.
Why LGBT is Underrepresented on Primetime TV http://www.policymic.com/articles/1865/why-lgbt-is-underrepresented-on-primetime-tv
BBC told to put more gay presenters on children’s TV to ‘familiarise’ youngsters with different sexualities http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2247981/BBC-told-gay-presenters-characters-childrens-TV-familiarise-young-people-different-sexualities.html
GLAAD Sees Decline in Number of Gay Characters on TV http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/glaad-report-gay-tv-characters-decline/story?id=14619206
“The L Word” Reinforces Negative Bisexual Stereotypes http://www.afterellen.com/TV/2008/2thelwordbisexuality
Differing LGBT Views About ‘The Kids Are All Right’ http://www.glaad.org/2010/07/28/differing-lgbt-views-about-the-kids-are-all-right
A Multimodal Critical Discourse Analysis of ‘The Kids Are All Right’ http://www.lorejournal.org/2011/07/its-kind-of-a-family-values-movie-a-multimodal-critical-discourse-analysis-of-lisa-cholodenkos-film-the-kids-are-all-right/
‘The Kids Are All Right’ and the Grownups are Bisexual http://www.afterellen.com/movies/2010/7/the-grown-ups-are-bisexual
The Kids Are All Right? No Way! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-garry-/the-kids-are-all-right-no_b_659444.html
Bisexuals in the Media http://cchronicle.com/2010/02/bisexuals-in-the-media/
Curiouser and Curiouser: The strange disappearance of male bisexuality http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2006/04/26/curiouser-and-curiouser-the-strange-disappearance-of-male-bisexuality/
Hot, Sexy Bi Babes: Media Depictions of Bisexual Women http://radicalbi.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/hot-sexy-bi-babes-media-depictions-of-bisexual-women/
Visi(bi)lity Blog Series by Carrie Nelson of Bitch Magazine http://bitchmagazine.org/profile/carrienelson (Scroll down to recent blog posts to read commentary about representation of bi individuals such as in Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl”, in films such as Chasing Amy, and on shows such as Glee, Doctor Who, Grey’s Anatomy, The L Word, Queer as Folk, Skins, and more).
New Study Finds Poor Representation of Transgender People on TV http://theseattlelesbian.com/new-study-finds-poor-representation-of-transgender-people-on-tv/
Trans People and the Media http://www.newstatesman.com/juliet-jacques/2013/03/theses-trans-people-and-media
“With politicians there is a lot talk of ‘acceptance’ and ‘tolerance’ when it comes to homosexuality, and I can’t help but think that those are the wrong words. I accept the fact that I have to pay taxes. I tolerate the fact that I have to go to the dentist. Why should either of those words apply to how a parent feels about their child?”
I’ve wanted to share my coming out story & what has happened since to people for awhile.
I was always bi. I remember being a young child and being attracted to both males & females. I even tricked my best friend into being my first kiss because I liked her. When I was 16, I asked my church youth leader for help & he yelled at me about going to hell & I wasn’t allowed to come back to his class. After that, I came out to my mom & she told me she still loved me and hoped I was making the right choice. My dad… he didn’t like it but said he loved me & it was a stage.
After that, I wasn’t afraid to date females & males.
A few years later, I was 20 & my dad got into a bad tractor trailer wreak and got a brain injury. He forgot a lot. (More about this later) & in 2011 I had my daughter whose father was abusive.
That’s when I met Khandiz. She was a lesbian I had a crush on…but my daughter loved her more. After a joke, she became my daughter’s daddy. My daughter has never been happier. True daddy moment: after working all day, she drove home & made a sandwich and glass of milk to bring to Madi at the er…at midnight. Then got her the next day.
Back to my dad’s brain injury. Since forgetting things… he forgot I came out! And… now… I have to come out once a month. Gah! Luckly, he is more understanding about it & would like to have me date Khandiz (but I think her girlfriend would have an big issue..plus my feeling for her have changed.)
I still have people tell me I’m confused or just horny. Guys always think ‘threesome’ or that I will have both a girlfriend & boyfriend at one time. False on all parts.
That is my story.. not much. But.. it’s mine.
Thanks." - Submitted by http://letlinhelpyou.tumblr.com/