As a 19-year-old who’s never been married I’m not sure how much help I can be with this particular topic, but I’ll try my best…
Coming out is a very personal decision, and if you feel that it would cause problems in your marriage or your relationship with your parents, then you have every right to not come out to them. However, if you think your husband and/or parents would probably be accepting, it wouldn’t be pointless to come out, contrary to what you might think at first: Why should I come out if I’m already in a committed heterosexual relationship? The most obvious answer is that it may allow you to feel more genuine in your relationships, and for many people coming out allows them to feel a sense of pride.
Basically it comes down to what you want to do. If you’re feeling like you have to suppress yourself by staying in the closet, then I would encourage you to come out if you feel ready.
This very issue is discussed in an article for Bi the Bi, and you are most definitely not alone in this. Plenty of people get married before they even know they’re bi, and then they struggle with whether or not their bi identity is even relevant anymore. That’s a question that should be answered by the individual.
From the pitfalls of coming out to prejudice and professional isolation, Matthew Jenkin explores the challenges bisexuals face at work
I’ve wanted to share my coming out story & what has happened since to people for awhile.
I was always bi. I remember being a young child and being attracted to both males & females. I even tricked my best friend into being my first kiss because I liked her. When I was 16, I asked my church youth leader for help & he yelled at me about going to hell & I wasn’t allowed to come back to his class. After that, I came out to my mom & she told me she still loved me and hoped I was making the right choice. My dad… he didn’t like it but said he loved me & it was a stage.
After that, I wasn’t afraid to date females & males.
A few years later, I was 20 & my dad got into a bad tractor trailer wreak and got a brain injury. He forgot a lot. (More about this later) & in 2011 I had my daughter whose father was abusive.
That’s when I met Khandiz. She was a lesbian I had a crush on…but my daughter loved her more. After a joke, she became my daughter’s daddy. My daughter has never been happier. True daddy moment: after working all day, she drove home & made a sandwich and glass of milk to bring to Madi at the er…at midnight. Then got her the next day.
Back to my dad’s brain injury. Since forgetting things… he forgot I came out! And… now… I have to come out once a month. Gah! Luckly, he is more understanding about it & would like to have me date Khandiz (but I think her girlfriend would have an big issue..plus my feeling for her have changed.)
I still have people tell me I’m confused or just horny. Guys always think ‘threesome’ or that I will have both a girlfriend & boyfriend at one time. False on all parts.
That is my story.. not much. But.. it’s mine.
Thanks." - Submitted by http://letlinhelpyou.tumblr.com/
Unfortunately, this is all too common. The LGBTQ+ Community has this stigma of bisexuals, and we are very often the subject of situations like this because of our sexuality.
But, if someone is that closed minded, they likely weren’t really worth dating, anyway. Find someone who loves you for you, like you deserve!
“We are conducting a study on the life experiences and well-being of women and men who identify as being emotionally and/or physically attracted (not necessarily to the same degree or the same time) to the same and other genders. For the purposes of brevity, the term bisexual is used throughout the survey, however we understand that not all who participate in the study necessarily use that term to identify themselves. With this study, we hope to contribute to the understanding of the experiences and needs of bisexual individuals. Participation in our study will involve completing a survey that will take approximately 20-25 minutes.”
In order to participate you must:
• Be at least 18 years old
• Identify as being emotionally and/or physically attracted (not necessarily to the same degree or the same time) to the same and other genders or bisexual
• Reside in the U.S.”
“I would reframe the question to read, ‘Will disclosing your bisexuality to your partner hurt them?’ because, in many cases, if not most, being honest with your significant other about your sexuality will not be a source of pain; on the contrary, it should bring you closer together.” -AJ Walkley